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For example, some marital patterns that even professionals often take as a sign of a problem--such as having intense fights or avoiding conflict altogether--I have found can signify highly successful adjustments that will keep a couple together.Fighting, when it airs grievances and complaints, can be one of the healthiest things a couple can do for their relationship.What makes the numbers even more disturbing is that no one seems to understand why our marriages have become so fragile.In pursuit of the truth about what tears a marriage apart or binds it together, I have found that much of the conventional wisdom--even among marital therapists--is either misguided or dead wrong.

couples activities; what to expect from your partner's relatives -- and your partner -- when dealing with family; how to discipline a child; responsibility for chores; and finances., as we call them, may be less popular this time of year than "Be My Valentine." Sometimes, though, asking someone to be your Valentine means more than flowers, chocolate, and saying the other three words -- "I love you." "Be My Valentine" can mean asking for love in a relationship, for partnership in life's adventures.It means enjoy my successes, support me when life gets hard, and I will do the same for you.Consider a recent conflict you and your partner experienced or one that occurs regularly.As an example, imagine a conflict about whether to spend some of your mutual savings on a beach trip.

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